After two packs of cigarettes, my father grabbed my hand and walked to the principal's office without saying a word. There was no superfluous conversation. When my father saw the headmaster, he plopped down on the ground with two knees, "it's all my father's incompetence. I'm doing something wrong! You can do whatever you want. I have nothing to say... " After a while, my father begged, "you can pay as much as you like. Just give him your diploma! He's under eighteen. Let him go out and get a job! " I remember clearly that in the face of the 40 year old headmaster, the father in his fifties pronounced the word "you" very clearly with irregular pronunciation. I later learned that my father was so devoted to let me take my diploma to other schools. My father hated me, but he never wanted me to go out of the classroom. From primary school to junior high school, I have always been my father's pride! But I know that it's just my father's unrealistic idea, and I don't want to face the holy place of school. I dare not go back to the village where I was born and raised. The fingers there would break my spine, and the saliva would drown me out. I was carrying my father's diploma, which was exchanged by personality and hard-earned money, and I came to the provincial capital by car quietly. I only have more than 20 yuan on my body, and I still linger on a construction site until the fifth day. I have never been engaged in physical labor, white and thin, and there is no way to find a living coolie. Tears of no value washed away my three-year nightmare, but also let me fully understand: not only did I miss sowing in the season that I should have worked, but I lost the whole spring. I dragged my hungry body aimlessly down the street. At the beginning of the Lantern Festival, at the gate of a middle school, I saw the students in bright clothes flying out of the school by bike. Their light laughter drifted away like a wind beside me, unlike the spring that once belonged to me. In the autumn wind, I curled up in the corner of the food market and quietly stopped wandering aimlessly. Hunger and sleepiness caused me to have a high fever and a headache. In the dark, I think of death